I killed my father and his mistress.
I stabbed them many times.
My whole body was covered in their blood.
I couldn’t process what I had just done.
I just fled the scene.
I ran as far as I could in my blood-covered clothes.
My hand was still holding the knife I used to kill them.
It was 3AM. I was running in a residential area.
There was no one on the street. The whole town seemed asleep.
I noticed a house with a front door light on.
I noticed it because a pile of mail were scattered around in the front porch.
Maybe there owner had not been at home for a while.
The door wasn’t locked. I went inside without hesitation.
I walked in the entrance, passed the hallway and opened the door to the living room.
A set of eye caught my eyes.
It was a young boy, around 5-6 years old, sitting alone at the table.
I grabbed him by the neck, held up the knife against his face and said,
“Don’t move. Where are your parents?”
He responded quietly. “They are not here”
“Are they coming back?”
“I don’t think so.”
Then that child asked me, “Maybe you should get clean. You can use the shower.”
I said “You’d call the police while I’m in the shower”
He said “No. I’ll stand by the bathroom door if you don’t trust me.”
My clothes were soaked in their blood. I decided to accept his offer.
That child stood by the bathroom door while I showered.
When I got out of the shower, he said
“Let’s eat something. Do you want curry or Ochazuke? They are both instant though. I would cook but I don’t have much food in the house at the moment”
“Umm…..Ochazuke is fine. Thanks”
He prepared the food and we ate it at the table.
Then he said to me,
“Do you want to rest? Can you sleep next to me?
Here, me and my teddy bear, and you. We can sleep like a family, right?”
He prepared a blanket and a mattress on the floor and we lied down.
It was a strange feeling.
This boy seemed so alone. And he acted like he needed me.
Somehow I felt close to him.
As we laid down next to each other, I started to open up to him about myself..
“My parents never loved me. My father had a mistress, and he used to hit me and my mother so much.
My mother got a divorce from him and left us when I was little, maybe around your age.
After that, my father was rarely home. I was always alone, like you now.
When my father would come home, he would hit me and tell me how useless I was, that it was a huge mistake that he had me…”
“I don’t remember how long he had been gone last time, for years at least.
I had a job and I was doing just fine by myself.
Then just a few weeks ago, he came back to the house.
But he wasn’t alone. He let the mistress move in to the house.
Together they talked nonstop shit to me, belittling me, insulting me, you know, for days, nonstop.
Then I snapped. I grabbed the knife and stabbed them both to death…
I didn’t want to do it. How could I have done it?
He was my only family. And I killed him just because he didn’t want to love me…”
I started crying…
“And I’m sorry that I pointed a knife at you earlier”
The boy smiled.
He said, “I am like you too”
“My mother left me here. I don’t know who my father is. She lived with her boyfriend here.”
“I don’t think they’ll come back. They always leave me alone here for days.”
“ I’m not happy now. I’m alone. I’m just a kid. I can’t leave this house and live by myself”
“But when I grow up, I have a dream. I want to open my own restaurant.”
“Would you come to my restaurant?”
I said, “For sure.”
The boy said,
“When I was alone in this house, I was always wishing someone would find me.”
“But today you found me and now I have a company, I don’t want this to end..”
It was the first time in my life that I found someone who came from the same situation as me, and someone who understood what I went through.
I was sure it was the same for him too.
I hugged his small body, like a father would, and we fell asleep together.
In the middle of my sleep, I woke up to a strange smell.
I tried to brush off the smell and fall back to sleep, but I kept waking up.
It was disgusting.
Is there some garbage left in the other room?
I got up to look for the garbage.
The child woke up, and said “hey, come back to sleep”
I ignored him.
The smell was getting too strong.
I started to notice what the smell was.
I was standing in front of a door to another room.
I was pretty sure this was where the smell was coming from.
I reached my hand to the door knob.
The boy yelled “Don’t open that door!”
The room looked vandalized.
I saw a big teddy bear with a large gash on its face.
A room full of broken toys and damaged items scattered everywhere on the floor.
The wallpaper had tears everywhere.
Plastic bags full of garbage were lying around the room.
And in the middle of it there was a mattress….and what looked like a decomposed body of a little child.
I could tell that this child died several days ago, and that it was a boy around the age of 5-6..
You wanted to be found.
But now you don’t want this to end.
I felt the same. I thought I’d finally found a friend.
I fell down on the floor crying….